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Eleven years ago....my instructor inform the class one day at lunch time that Land Rovers of Greenville were serving hamburgers & hot dogs and all proceeds were to go to the Greenville Humane Society. Most of our class went to Land Rovers that day....but, I had no idea that puppy dogs would be there...my eyes attached to an adorable puppy with huge ears that a little girl was carrying around....eventually the little girl put the dog back in his box....and I. in a trance like state went to that box & picked that puppy dog up...a lady standing there told me the dog was for adoption...the cost was sixty five dollars....I knew good and well that I didn't have sixty five dollars in my checking account....but in complete faith I wrote the check out and took my puppy back to the classroom with me...what could the instructor say? She's the one that had the bright idea to send me there lol.

When I brought my puppy home....my husband was outside and was instantly saying NO NANCY...NO MORE PETS...but I just kept walking towards the house with my adorable little puppy.....got inside and called my sisters and asked each of them for thirty two dollars and 50 cents ASAP....both came to my rescue. The little puppy I adopted was abandoned in a parking lot when he was a couple of days old along with his two sisters. The Greenville Humane Society got the poor pups and had kind folks that offered to bottle feed them....at seven weeks old they decided to adopt them out. I had a stuffed toy bunny rabbit that I gave to my puppy to sleep with...he would cuddle up to that bunny and nurse it while he went to sleep....I reckon his nursing needs never got satisfied...because he continued to nurse his bunny for eleven years when he went to bed.

He was a unique dog for sure....he loved playing fetch and every time he saw me grab my camera, he would get so excited as he looked around for a toy to grab and follow me outside....to him it was FETCH time and boy did he demand that I throw his toy over & over & over again. He loved me, but he wasn't the type to be cuddled at all.....he wanted to be near me, but didn't want to be held and I respected that. Several months ago my little fellow wasn't doing well at all...after several trips to the vet...test showed he had an enlarged heart...was put on heart & fluid medications and appeared to be getting better...but soon his vision suffered....and he no longer wanted to run & play fetch...but at night he would still nurse his ole bunny rabbit...he couldn't see very well or maybe not even at all...but he got around pretty good from memory and/or smell...he knew when I was fixing to go somewhere....and would sit by the door waiting to run out and go too....the strange part was he would be outside while I was inside getting ready to go and he knew it and would stand by the gate....was very difficult to get away from him...but some places I couldn't take him too...but boy oh boy how happy he was when I did let him go for a ride. ....

Well...my little fellow started having excruciating pain with bowel movements....took him back to the vet and a hard mass was discovered....test done to see if the mass were benign or cancerous... I asked the doctor what could be done to ease his pain...she said surgery...but because of the location of the mass they may not be able to get it all without damaging the sphincter muscle and there wasn't any guarantees that the mass wouldn't come back. I told her no way would I put him through surgery...she told me to think on it and call back tomorrow for the test results...

I thought on it...boy did I do some heavy thinking and searching online...but everytime I heard him scream in such agony with each bowel movement....I knew I couldn't allow him to suffer anymore. I cried buckets, I held his bunny rabbit and my heart shattered just thinking of letting him go. It was a hellish decision....because he wasn't on his death bed....he still ate well....still followed me outside....and still barked when the other dogs did...and still loved to go for a ride...but he was suffering....the pain was so great and afterwards he appeared so lost & confused....heavy panting...he would find a place to hide....I knew I had to let him go....I didn't even wait to hear the test result....

I took my little fellow to the vet and held him in my arms...and he was content to be held close which was mighty special to me...I put a blanket on my lap, held him and his bunny rabbit as he was given a sedative...his heavy panting eased and he napped in my arms...I had one of my hands under him where I could feel the steady beat of his heart and as the doctor slowly injected my precious puppy's heart stopped beating....he went easy...his heart just stopped and mine hurt so very much...couldn't help the tears that ran down my face as I kissed him one last time...I wrapped him like a baby along with his bunny rabbit in a blanket and brought him home to bury....although my selfish ole heart didn't want to ever say goodbye....I know I showed my little fellow one last act of genuine love by letting him go...no more pain for him....I had eleven wonderful years with him and although I wanted many more years...I'm thankful for the eleven I had...he was a mighty special little pet....My daughter named him Kiwi...but my husband always called him Puppy...so Puppy stuck and became his name....Rest in peace my sweet little friend...you were loved from the first moment I saw you with those huge ears that were way too big for your little head : ))
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Comments on this photo:

Aug 08 2012 14:59 GMT bandsix
Oh Nancy, isn't it awful when we have to make the final decision for our beloved pets? But there is no way you could have allowed him to suffer any more.....and he had eleven wonderful years with you....and that is what you have to hang on to.......
Aug 08 2012 15:00 GMT 25barb
So very touching...I am very sad for you and know that you had to do the right thing and it was love that brought you to Puppy and it was love that let him go to stop all the pain.We all want more time with our animal/animals. And your story would be almost a duplicate of my dog Dunner, a Weimaraner. Took through life for 12 years after her first year of many medical problems. She was a blessing as I know Puppy was with you.
I feel your aching heart and my thoughts will be with you. Your story is heart warming and heart touching..Thank you for share this tender time with us..
and all the memories of joy shared will forever be with you.
Aug 08 2012 15:20 GMT clintonfolks
OH sister, This story made me cry like i was peeling onions..
so sad... rest in peace Puppy.
Aug 08 2012 16:08 GMT abojovna PRO
I weep ......
Aug 08 2012 16:43 GMT martini957
Yes...it sure is a hard decision...the heart seeks for any tiny bit of proof to loudly shout to the mind to wait a bit longer....but eventually heart and mind are one in love and make that decision....yes...11 wonderful years of precious memories to be most thankful for..Thank you much Bandsix
Aug 08 2012 16:46 GMT martini957
Thank you much Barb....so sorry about your precious Dunner....I know your heart understands perfectly how mine feels....so easy to love em and so very hard to let em go.
Aug 08 2012 16:51 GMT martini957
Thank you much Bro....I'm trying so hard not to dwell on my broken heart...but I kid you not, I feel so sorry for me and the tears flow....I know the rules of the life game...a time to be born...a time to live...and a time to die....but I'd like to change those rules...mainly that last one.
Aug 08 2012 16:54 GMT martini957
Thank you much Hunju.
Aug 08 2012 16:55 GMT martini957
I'm sorry to cause you to weep....but thank you much for each tear my friend.
Aug 08 2012 19:20 GMT FRIESIAN
Oh Nancy I know exactly what you are feeling. My Jack Russell Kyra past away last year She died in my arms.The next day we should go to the vet for the final decision but the day before she made the decision to go by herself.Kyra had cancer to. I had tears in my eyes when I was reading your story.
Aug 08 2012 21:14 GMT wijnie58
Oh my dear Nancy, thats is really sad news. I know what you feeling..
Sorry for your lost....Are toughts are with you...Big Kiss...:-)))
Aug 08 2012 21:28 GMT martini957
So sorry about your precious Kyra....doesn't really matter how they die....be it on their own or put down....it hurts....I'm happy that my Puppy isn't suffering any longer...but so sad missing his sweet face....Thank you much for your tears my friend.
Aug 08 2012 21:39 GMT martini957
Thank you much dear Winjie...I told my sister today that I felt horrible for daring to feel sorry for myself on the loss of my sweet Puppy...but she said it was quite normal to feel this way...that she would think me abnormal if I just went about my daily business as if nothing had happened....it's okay to mourn and feel self pity for awhile...it's all part of the healing process.
Aug 09 2012 12:55 GMT Annamaria
Dear Nancy...your story made me cry... so sorry about your loss! I know what Puppy meant for you! You will sure miss him a lot, but I am certain that he had a good life in your house and always will stay in your heart! When a dog dies a little piece of us dies too.... at least thats how I fell it..... Take care, my friend!

Aug 09 2012 14:08 GMT martini957
Thank you Dear friend....quite true...it surely feels as if a little piece of us dies too...I miss him...keep thinking of all the cute things he used to do....and kinda like to think all dogs go to heaven too...no way God could put love in my heart that He Himself couldn't feel....I know He saw my broken heart and in His great love and mercy...He was there to comfort my animal loving heart....Not only was my heart broken just thinking of putting my Puppy down...but I also thought of how I would have to take him alone to be put down....and I thought about how hard the ground was for digging a grave....and God sent a heavy rain the day before and out of the blue my sister called that day and said she was sent home from work early and would I like for her to go with me...yep....God never promised us our cross would be light as a feather...only that He would be there for us....and with all my being I know He was there for me.
Aug 09 2012 15:01 GMT hans55 PRO
always sad to loose a loyal friend like a dog ...any dog ... i think you made the best dessicion for Puppy ... he's not in pain anymore ... can't imagine how it would be as we should make this desscion for our Binkie !!
Aug 09 2012 15:08 GMT LisaSam67
Aug 10 2012 01:29 GMT martini957
Thank you much Hans....they become part of your family and such an empty feeling when they have to leave you.
Aug 10 2012 01:29 GMT martini957
Yep...very sad to say goodbye....Thank you much Lisa.
Aug 10 2012 05:13 GMT mellie
Nancy, you and your puppy were meant to find each other; to be in one another's life.
Your beautiful words have touched my heart. Some time ago we lost our cat to illness. He was with me when I found out I had to have very serious surgery and during my recovery never left my side. A short time later we found out that he was very ill. He left this world with peace and all of our love. Our pets are a part of our lives; they are family. Your puppy will always be with you in your heart and loving memories.
Aug 10 2012 17:46 GMT martini957
Thank you much Mellie...my heart goes out to you in the loss of your precious pet....it helps our heart when they leave in peace in our loving arms...Puppy isn't the first pet I've lost to death...but it never gets easier... having my precious pets in my world was worth every tear when they had to leave.....so true they are family....so easy to love them and down right painful to have to accept the void of them in our little corner.
Sep 17 2012 09:44 GMT annieann PRO
Nancy, this also brought tears to my eyes . I have two dogs and they are my babies .it would hurt me so much to lose them but I know one day I will . My heart goes out to you for putting your thoughts and feelings down for all to see . Thank you for sharing this with us .Puppy is at peace now and will be forever in your heart and mind , with you, constantly by your side . You will sense him there. Hope that brings you some comfort to know .
Sep 17 2012 17:17 GMT JANNYBEAR143
Thank you LORD for giving US great memories of good times with our pets. It's those memories that help us through these rough times. Here's to your GREAT MEMORIES of PUPPY. So sorry for your loss.