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work desk
Tags work desk

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If I wish and concentrate really REALLY hard do you think I can develop the psychic powers to destroy this workplace in a blaze of scorching flame before Monday? I'm giving myself a headache but I'm sure I'll manage the feat before I accidently crap myself with effort
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Aug 19 2007 17:00 GMT dave43
i used to dream about my first office burning down!
It's all there, isn't it, all the things I've forgotten about, would you really prefer to be out in the pissing rain all the time?
Aug 19 2007 17:02 GMT Sketty PRO
Yes.

I've dreamed about offices burning down, boyfriends being killed before arriving to pick me up and distant relatives dying and leaving me money. None of it ever happens and it all just makes me look like a really unpleasant, inadequate person really doesn't it?

Mwhahahahabooohooohooohooooooo
Aug 19 2007 17:07 GMT dave43
no, you just need....something!
Aug 19 2007 18:14 GMT ijbison PRO
If the psychic pyromania thing does kick in, be a pal and send a few stray sparks in the direction of my office as well, eh?
Aug 19 2007 18:19 GMT Sketty PRO
sure thing mate. So much for all the therapy I've been havin eh?
Aug 19 2007 18:28 GMT ijbison PRO
Just think what you'd feel like without the therapy though.

Anyway, too many 'slightly' pissed miserable Geordies phoning you late at night, that's what really brought you down isn't it?
Aug 19 2007 18:34 GMT Sketty PRO
What, you mean the slightly pissed Geordie who made me fall up the stairs and break 3 fingernails? The slightly pissed Geordie who then laughed solidly for about 7 minutes and told me all about his urinatory showering habits? How could that not fail to cheer a girl up, I ask you?
Aug 19 2007 18:52 GMT ijbison PRO
"Still reckon it's better than deein' it in the bath", muttered a passing Geordie just a moment ago.....
Aug 19 2007 18:53 GMT Sketty PRO
(sound of innocent whistling)
Aug 19 2007 21:49 GMT Steve PRO
Have you ever seen the film "Office Space", Sket? If not you might find it cathartic. I quote . . .

"Amazon.co.uk Review
Office Space is a movie for anyone who's ever spent eight hours in a "Productivity Bin", had to endure a smarmy, condescending boss, had worries about layoffs, or just had the urge to demolish a temperamental printer or fax machine. Peter (Ron Livingston) spends the day doing stupefyingly dull computer work in a cubicle. He goes home to an apartment sparsely furnished by IKEA and Target, then starts for a maddening commute to work again in the morning.
His co-workers in the cube farm are an annoying lot, his boss is a snide, patronising jerk, and his days are consumed with tedium. In desperation, he turns to career hypnotherapy, but when his hypno-induced relaxation takes hold, there's no shutting it off. Layoffs are in the air at his corporation and with two colleagues (both of whom are slated for the chute) he devises a scheme to skim funds from company accounts. The scam soon snowballs, however, throwing the three into a panic until the unexpected happens and saves the day."

I could lend you my copy on DVD if you want. :-)

SB
Aug 19 2007 21:52 GMT Sketty PRO
Jeeez, it sounds like my life. I can actually feel my hand forming into a claw at the thought of going in tomorrow.
Aug 19 2007 22:35 GMT Molly PRO
"Office Space" was my thought indeed.....besides: "I don't want to talk about my flair."
You MUST watch it. You may start calling everything a "TPS report" like I do.
Aug 19 2007 22:48 GMT Miniwood PRO
Matches would be much more effective than psychic powers.

Richard Dawkins made me say that.
Aug 20 2007 01:36 GMT wifey
Start with the bucketů concentrate on making the blue turn red. :)
Aug 20 2007 06:38 GMT gailhunter
a casually discarded match in that bin under the desk, (accidentally filled earlier with flammable goods) as you leave on a friday and it will be all over.
Though I once nearly burned down our garage at the lab - nearly passed out with terror....and melted a shoe trying to stamp it out......
Aug 20 2007 10:47 GMT Steve PRO
Reply to Molly: . . . and you start every sentence with, "Why don't you just go ahead and . . ."

I used to work for a US company and it was SO like this, this became a sort of employee cult video. Everybody had seen it and we all quoted bits of the dialogue. I don't think the "bosses" ever caught on though. Funny.

Sorry for taking over your comments, Sket, but you really SHOULD see Office Space! :-)
Aug 20 2007 17:22 GMT Sketty PRO
Don't apologise! It sounds wonderful
Aug 21 2007 05:07 GMT tony PRO
I am the proud owner of a jen-yoo-wyne red Swingline stapler, a special limited edition manufactured solely in response to demand created by the movie Office Space (you'd have to see the movie to understand the significance).
Aug 21 2007 07:54 GMT Sheila PRO
I thought she was practising to be another of the gang on "Heroes" - one who can set fire to things by just thinking about them.

FT1