Sketty's Fotothing

2/3: ....and then there is the delight of the strategically shaved monkey who scratches his head (and then his arse) as he looks blankly at the engine, fiddles with various parts that are clearly not loose before making his monumental statement

"It must be the battery"

"Erm, I'm no mechanic mate but I'm guessing the hazzard lights wouldn't be working if the battery was buggered"

"..........where's the battery?"

"under the back seat"

(tests battery) "well, (he announces triumphantly) there's nothing wrong with the battery"

(no shit, Sherlock)

cue questions about where the fuses are located before monkey man sits and looks at them blankly. He then tries desperately to open the front lid

Sket watches evilly for what feels like several incredulous minutes "shall I release the catch, mate?"

.....turns out it was only a loose sodding connection. Thank god it was nothing more taxing - I'd still be there risking my life on the bend now.