Gilgamesh Mr Uku is right - humans AND inanimate objects conspire to make my life shite but you gotta laugh about it all haven't you? I know that the worms in my worm farm judge me just as much as the stuff in my bedroom AND the ghosts who follow me around looking at me putting my underwear on but do I get paranoid or go a bit mad?
Excuse me repeating myself but…
Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don't look around my eyes, look into my eyes, you're under!
Now, tell me about the underwear, no, sorry - the ghosts! Tell me about the ghosts.
I can't wear old knickers that are falling apart in case it offends the Holy Ghost - boom boom!
Holes in my knicks - Holy Ghost, geddit? Damn, that joke was crap even for me.
Yeah the dead, unseen but I suspect (you can't fool me dead people!), follow me around and watch me shower and watch me get dressed. I think they like my Snoopy pants the best. I really want some khaki undies with Che Guevara on them but I don't think they've been invented. I think that ghosts would find that funny
Oh god UKU, what have you done? Now I'm going to believe the SQUIRRELS are after me! At least I know their lack of opposing thumb-age means they can't hold the rifles
Yup, Snoopy does it for me too! Is he rather faded and grey? Excellent.
BTW, just how bored and/or perverse would 'the dead' have to be to be, as it were, snooping around your undies when they could be (for example) round Jenny Agutter's house?
Jenny Agutter??? Have you not seen the lovely Lady Sketty? If I was dead I'd hang around to get a look at her pants.
Is it just me or is this all getting weirder than usual?
It's all very simple.
Sketty got a new car for the noodles which she needs to plug the holes in her knickers because some squirrels dressed as ghosts have been pressuring her into posing for the cameras glued to their heads by Jenny Agutter. I'm buying a horse so I can wear my cape more often and avoid the card waving pensioners and Gilgamesh is using his special hypnotic powers to make the horse get its kit off.
Sketty, you must change your outlook on life, you are a wonderful, beautiful, sexy woman that most men would would give their right nut to be with, you are a fine example of a loving caring human being with the body of a Godess.
You are funny, intelligent, drop dead gorgeous, full of happiness & life...............
MrUku, this diaglogue has become weirder than usual and I'm so disturbed by it, I'm stepping away.
Oh and thank you for saying I'm more lovely than the lovely Jenny Agutter- Damn right I am, the woman's old enough to be my... older sister. Probably. How old IS Jenny Agutter any way? Anyone who says I'm not lovelier than Jenny Agutter is a liar and a fascist
I'm sorry Sket, you are unquestionably a creature of rare beauty - but you can never eclipse my Perfect Woman.
I am neither a liar nor a fascist - but, given the opportunity, I would dearly like to get those damn trains running on time. And kill all estate agents. And merchant bankers. And IT managers. And professional footballers.
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