Crappy cameraphone shot (as I was too weak to get the proper camera). A HUMAN TRAGEDY OF BIBLICAL PROP...

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Crappy cameraphone shot (as I was too weak to get the proper camera).

A HUMAN TRAGEDY OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS - I am trapped in the house (because I refuse to get out of my pajamas today) alone and the only quick and easy food is MOLDY.

Please send help..............I am fading.........Phoe won't be back for at least another 3 hours. All I've been able to find are some ancient shit crisps from an old multipack that no one in their right mind would eat (pickled onion flavour). These are desperate times, I might have to take action almost too terrible to comprehend and actually (deep breath)....get dressed and go to the shop.......I'd rather lay here and starve to be honest.

Oh, I'm off work for genuine reasons - they are forcing me to study for a professional qualification and today is my official study day. I got up late, read a book, mucked around online, procrastinated, made a cup of tea, went to look for food - OH MY GOD THERE'S NO FOOD. Now I'm too traumatised and weak to write a reflective report on my working practice. Like I say, it's a human tragedy

Comments on this photo:

Aug 02 2007 14:59 GMT Sheila PRO

Nothing like mouldy food to shake you out of your dreams, Sket!

Aug 02 2007 15:15 GMT Jagged PRO

Hasn't batdog got something tasty buried in the garden?

Aug 02 2007 15:20 GMT Sketty PRO

Nah, he's learned to eat everything really quickly. Mainly because he's nicked it from somewhere....

Aug 02 2007 15:56 GMT Jagged PRO

Never mind, I've got a tasty prawn salad here + a chicken and bacon roll. You want some, it's yours.

Aug 02 2007 17:07 GMT Sketty PRO

Yoooooou bastard - you know I don't eat anything that still has/once had a face!! Got any quorn or crusty bread with sesame seed on?

Aug 02 2007 18:05 GMT ijbison PRO

I'm thinking of doing a broad bean risotto. Any good?

Aug 02 2007 19:35 GMT dave43

I didn't realise there was anyone worse than me at providing for my self!

Aug 02 2007 20:33 GMT Sketty PRO

Bison, now if you'd said anything other than BROAD bean I might be tempted. I have never, until this moment, met anyone who has purposely eaten a broad bean in my life. They are the unpleasantly stenched uncle of the bean family in my book. Can't you make it out of kidney beans instead?

Aug 02 2007 21:53 GMT ander

mmm i am eating a sheaps head --- delicius ----

Aug 02 2007 22:08 GMT stuboy PRO

You not got anything under your bed or down the sofa ?
I can usually rustle up half a vegi berger from one of these places.

Aug 02 2007 23:28 GMT Molly PRO

Okay.....problem #1 - it's organic. The wonderful stuff that I grew up on, Wonder bread, never grows mold because it's so loaded with preservatives.....now I use the 12-16-10,000-grain stuff....but Wonder *is* a wonder.
Problem #2 - seriously, Sket....no chocolate stash??? Even when I'm in the midst of some crazy diet or something, I have a chocolate stash. (Usually in the very back of my freezer.)

Aug 05 2007 00:00 GMT Phoenix PRO

Tut, she had even taken old chocolate fingers out of the bin by the time I had returned home...... Even the dogs refused to eat them.........