Crappy cameraphone shot (as I was too weak to get the proper camera).
A HUMAN TRAGEDY OF BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS - I am trapped in the house (because I refuse to get out of my pajamas today) alone and the only quick and easy food is MOLDY.
Please send help..............I am fading.........Phoe won't be back for at least another 3 hours. All I've been able to find are some ancient shit crisps from an old multipack that no one in their right mind would eat (pickled onion flavour). These are desperate times, I might have to take action almost too terrible to comprehend and actually (deep breath)....get dressed and go to the shop.......I'd rather lay here and starve to be honest.
Oh, I'm off work for genuine reasons - they are forcing me to study for a professional qualification and today is my official study day. I got up late, read a book, mucked around online, procrastinated, made a cup of tea, went to look for food - OH MY GOD THERE'S NO FOOD. Now I'm too traumatised and weak to write a reflective report on my working practice. Like I say, it's a human tragedy