Situation: About to leave to attend an appointment 13 miles away
Comments: YOU STOOOOOPID DAMN ORANGE HEAP OF SHIT BEETLE!
How Problem Solved: I took the foot pump out and pumped like hell as fast as my short leg would allow. One of the women in the office asked if I needed help but I sadly told her I was used to dealing with Beetle chicanery due to my car being the anti-Herbie
....oh, and thank you kind stranger for your note. May good karma hunt you down and give you some excellent luck