Chengcheng's Fotothing

7 Nov 2009

Today is grandma's last 'Seven'. After today, she will rest in eternal peace.

I told Mum and Grandpa to hold a mass prayer at one of the oldest local temples. I told her to arrange the best services at my cost. Everything had to be perfect and the monks chanted for two whole hours before sunset to give grandma her last blessings before her journey into the other life.

Having survived Japanese bombing, civil war, cultural revolution and much, much more harshness that life forced on a woman of her generation, she carried herself with grace and dignity till the end. She loved photographs so much through out her life, always trying to capture beautiful moments and preserving happy memories. In the difficult revolutionary years she even managed to possess a camera and the equipments to develop films. I guess at least this part of her has found its way into my gene.

Many said both me and my grandma have been lucky to have each other in this life. But it was a life shared too short. I would give anything to go back to those days and years when we were together at our old home, unseperated, contented, blissful. I would give anything to go back to the time when I didn't want much beyond the cosy nest my family made me.

On the day of her cremation, I tried my best to groom to a standard she'd be happy with. I wanted her to be proud of me. I could imagine her smiling at my black dress and black high heels and saying 'Those go well together.' I could imagine her agreeing with the crystal ash box we chose which has a white rose engraved on it because that was the kind of beauty she would go for. I watched her went up in flame, and I knew one of the best parts of my life had come to an end.

She turned 76 in this last photo of hers. She was with granda, sharing the birthday cake. Their fondness lasted beyond the end of their marriage. I guess she was contented. To say the least.

I promised to drive her around to see the world. I promised to go back and be with her and never leave her again. I promised many many things. These unfulfilled promises have to wait till another life.